Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Do You Face Book Your Old Boyfriends and Do They Face Book You?


I have never stayed friends with any of my old boyfriends.... not one of them.  Neither, as far as I know, has Mr Beach House with his ex girlfriends.

For me I'm not sure why, but I guess I put them out for a reason (or they me) and what's the point of hanging around to over analyse the inevitable.  The fat lady has sung and it's time to move on, was the way I always looked at it.

However, with the development of Fake Book, as we like to call it at the Beach House, that is changing, not just for the general population, but for me too.  I know the stats are terrible ( insert 'high' here, if you are OK with it) on old flames chucking in their existing lives and moving on IRL with a relationship rekindled on Face Book.  Yes the stats are high, but it would also be interesting to read any studies on the success rates of how these new rekindled Face Book relationships fare over time too.

Probably the same as IRL....... not very well.

So gather round, I'll let you in on a little secret.  I've been face booking old boyfriends and they've been face booking me back.  There's something about sitting in the comfort of your own media room, finding out what happened to a guy that you spent a formative part of your life with.  A few people I have discussed this with, have said to me they only joined so they could stalk past loves.  A little crazy in my book, but there you go.

Oh and don't worry about Mr Beach House, he knows and is fine with it.

So yes, I have finally joined the party down at Face Book, because Gen X is the new Gen Y right???? and I am finally getting social media.  I am no longer scared of it, I embrace it.  In all honesty, my initial interest in Face Book was  to drive traffic to my blog, but it is now more than that.  As my involvement with it has grown, I have thoroughly enjoyed interacting with my friends, old and new. The attraction for me is the ability to post photos, to see how people look now, to see how all those years of study panned out and developed into successful management roles or restaurants by the sea.  To look at wives and broods of kids and basically just to see how they turned out.  And good on them, they have done well!!!!

 It's nice when an old friend contacts me.  Some of them are boyfriends from my teenage years that I never even kissed, but I am happy that they even bothered.   I'm sure they are only doing it for the same reason I am, just to see what happened to someone they once remotely cared about.  I have absolutely no intention of taking it any further and I'm sure they don't either.  I always tell Mr Beach House, he pretends not to listen and we move on.  The old friends stay in my friend list and usually  after the initial 'Hi how are you after all these years?' contact, that is it.  Apart from the odd photo 'like' or one liner, it's nothing more than that.

So on the back of my new face book happiness, I encouraged Mr Beach House to start up a personal page himself.  He has one attached to his business, but not a personal one.  His response was the usual, 'I haven't got time for that'  But as he is well known in the sailing community and is constantly getting requests to join, I convinced him it was necessary.  He reluctantly agreed, that he did need a personal face book page to drive more business and he would be only too happy  for me to set it up for him.  I found him a few friends, sent out friend requests and all of a sudden, the virility of social media phenomenon was evident, it was on for young and old.  People started coming out of the woodwork....The friend requests were flying thick and fast and  from women too. As he was too busy to handle it, he asked if I would oblige.  No problem..... I friended them all, old girlfriend or not.  The best part was answering them pretending I was him. Naughty I know, but I was only trying to be polite and will not be doing it again, as it's hardly fair, but he did kind of give me the go ahead to 'handle it'.

That night he came home and said "oh I saw all the friend requests in my email.  You've got some people on there I don't want to be friends with.'  I don't know who he meant and I don't care.  He's probably not talking about his old girlfriends.  Because he doesn't know how to use Face Book he said to me tonight he wants to delete the page.  'I'd rather just send emails'  he said.  He sooooo doesn't get it, or maybe there was one too many ex girlfriend on there.  Whatever the reason, he can't seem to remember the password I have told him 50 times, so until he insists, I guess his page will stay up there.  Old girlfriends or not!!!!!  Hope he can stand the temptation!!!!!


Today I am Partying here
Wow Us Wednesday

25 comments :

  1. I haven't FBed any old boyfriends, nor have they reached out to me. I'm friends with a guy I went to high school with, who wishes that he had asked me for a date in high school, but that's been about it.

    I think that because all my old boyfriends live in Australia, and I live in the US, I don't have to worry about any of them looking for me :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess it's kind of like a 'sliding doors' thing, but really we make those choices for a reason and I think it's bet to stick to the door we took. But lots aren't

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  2. Sometimes some things should be left alone and in the past and responding on someone elses behalf seems a complete invasion of privacy.

    Dont go there....................................

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    1. Hi Anonymous

      How are you? Happy for you to have your say using your real name. Promise I wont delete you unless it's not G rated.

      You are right on the invasion of privacy. I'm not proud of myself but, Mr Beach House knows and he's fine with it.

      I'm just a curious type I guess.
      Carolyn

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    2. What else could he possibly say but he did ask you to get him off FB

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    3. No not really he's just frustrated with his lack of knowledge about how to use it. But like us all he has to practise. I sat down with him half an hour yesterday and he was more impressed with it. Especially when someone had commented on one of his photos. It kind of clicked that it was an interactive medium and he was pleasantly surprised.

      Carolyn

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  3. I only seem to be interested in anything coastal. LOL! I did however contact 2 ex's a few years ago, but not via FB. But we didn't stay in touch.

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    Replies
    1. I'm the same. The thought of an affair is about as exciting to me as watching paint dry right now.

      Give me a beautiful home over that any day
      Carolyn xx

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  4. Nope! No reason to be curious or socialize with them.
    Have a beautiful eve ~
    TTFN ~
    Marydon

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  5. Hi, Carolyn!
    I think people are just curious to see what happened to such and such???
    And no,I do not keep in touch with old boyfriends.
    I do keep in touch with my ex, the father of my son, but we are not in each other's FB.
    We raise our son together so it is more personal than old flames.
    I wonder why people do that... I think it perhaps makes them remember how they were at that time?
    When I separated an old old old boyfriend contacted me. I thought the whole flirtation thing dangerous and irritating, to tell you the truth. I think he wanted to feel "alive". I called him on it and he never emailed again, LOL!

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    Replies
    1. Yes Claudine
      Aging is unpleasant in many ways and going back to ones youth for a moment can be soothing and a form of escapism.

      Yes an old boyfriend that pesters would be horrible. I am very respectful not to leave constant comments etc. It's more about seeing how they did and congratulating them on their successes, whatever they are.
      Carolyn

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  6. I am actually Facebook friends with one of my old husbands! Yes, there have been THAT many!!! :-) My first husband, my son's Dad, is a Facebook friend. Not that we correspond regularly, but at least I'm able to stay abreast of what's going on with his side of the family. Many of his siblings and their offspring are my FB friends, as well. (I still like them! :-) I'm FB friends with several old boyfriends, too, but there is absolutely, unequivocally NO WAY I would ever rekindle an interest in them...or them in me, for that matter. Like you said, there was a reason we moved on. We don't work as a couple, but that's no reason we can't be casual acquaintances. I think there has to be agreement between existing couples re: friending old beaus. My husband feels very, very, very (perhaps TOO MUCH so!) comfortable that I have no intention of going anywhere...EVER!!! So we're cool. My husband doesn't have a clue when it comes to FB even though he has a page (that I set up for him). He goes on there every so often and looks around. It just baffles him more and more. He prefers to sit next to me while I'm working on mine and chime in on the virtual conversations!

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Your husband sounds exactly like Mr Beach House. He is extremely secure with me and I with him. I'm not going anywhere and he knows it!!!! I'm not into game playing at all and I love that Mr Beach House is not a game player either..... that's why we've lasted together. All the cards are on the table and that honesty is key to our success. If I want to do something I do it....I don't need his permission, but I will willingly tell him what it is.

      The marriage is no where near perfect however. There is conflict, but we know how to resolve it. Our kids are privy to it and can see that it is possible to resolve it, which I think will help them resolve their's when it inevitably occurs. So far so good

      Thanks Alycia for your candid conversation.
      Carolyn
      PS My above comment was only deleted due to spelling mistakes not cause I am hiding anything

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  7. Replies
    1. Yes it is Rose and in this game it important to only reveal what one is comfortable with
      Carolyn

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  8. God forbid I'd be stalked on facebook too. I'm under false name there. It's bad enough to be stalked in real time, in real life and on the phone and on facebook? Egads!

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  9. i have facebooked old boy friends. And so has DH. In fact, I'm friends with one of his old girl friends LOL That's ok. After 18 years ... we're sort of past that stage ;)

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  10. I have zero interest in any man besides my husband. I hope he feels the same way about me!
    but every one is different and finds happiness their own way...

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  11. I have no desire whatsoever to be any kind if friends with old flames; it's just too weird and way in the past.
    I am friends with a girl though who ended up marrying an ex, and that is a little weird, to see their happy family shots. I just pretend he is not in them, because I really don't want to revisit that part of my life.

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  12. I must admit, this is something I have thought about often lately. I'm not curious enough about old boyfriends to FB them...only a tiny bit curious...well, at the moment, anyway!! I don't know. I suppose it just feels weird, to seek out old flames when the fire has been extinguished. If I don't have any other motivation other than to see what they look like now...it's probably not enough, is it?? Great topic, though. Am just popping over from Glowy's linky :)

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  13. That's the best thing about FB, the stalking!

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  14. LOL!! I found my sort of boy friend and prom date, cracked me up!! Yeah, he contacted me but it was easy caz he is my school friend's older bro. I also found another boy- friend from when I was a kid, also he recognized me. We really haven't got any great friendship thru Fb. I go very rarely to visit Fb., I don't like it much. Of course I keep in touch with my school girl friends. I didn't have a serious anything as I got married with the love of my life and Alejandro's been the most serious relationship I had and still do! PS. They both look great as older man too and happily married like me. How fun this post. Enjoy your week!
    FABBY

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  15. Oh, hubby doesn't have Fb, he hates it! But than again, all his old flames are still here roaming around, I know a few of them, they're nice and happily married, lol..
    FABBY

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