Well one thing is for sure, Justin Hemmes sure knows how to throw a party. Last time I was at the Newport Arms, or The Newport, as it is now officially known, you could have shot a cannon into the beer garden. What you would have hit, was a couple of tables of Bogans in singlets, slamming scooners and my kids playing in the sand pit, whilst intermittently downing chocolate milk shakes and over priced banana bread.
The Bogans have well and truly left the building and been replaced by the Beautiful People. Mr Beach House did mention that this Easter weekend past, the Eastern Suburbs must have been devoid of Beautiful People as they all appeared to be Pittwater side, enjoying fresh Australian seafood and champagne. Or maybe the Northern Beaches has more beautiful people than we realised. Either way in the beer garden (probably not called that anymore) it sure was nice to see them all in one spot and it made for fabulous people watching.
Hot tip for securing a table: That process is somewhat a kin to Sydney real estate. It was all about the three P's.....position, position, position. The closer you got to the water, the more the people became beautiful. It was possibly an optical illusion, brought on by psychology, but whatever it was, it worked for me....so get there early and get as close to the coast as you can, for a truly easy on the eye experience.
Speaking of Sydney real estate, Hemmes is rumoured to have secured the joint for a cool $50 million. Gods knows how much he's thrown at the institution to turn it into a fun parlour, but if that was the brief, he has well and truly succeeded.
Thanks for not turning it into apartments Justin, which I am sure would have been tempting. You'll need to sell alot of burgers, fish and chips, pizza and beer to turn that into anything near a profit.
But we the people, are eternally grateful you beat the property developers to the table and wish you every success in your endeavours at keeping us happy.
It seems you are well on your way, as the place was rocking. The food though not outstanding yet, was good honest pub fare, it came quickly and the littlest Beach House Brat loved her chicken shnitty burger, which at $10 seemed very fair. Accordingly, she has vowed to return soon.
Justin, you are Mr Entertainment incarnate, so if anyone can turn a trick in the entertainment game, you can. God knows this country needs more like you,who are willing to throw your hat into the ring and have a go, rather than taking the shortest route between you and a bucket of money and dissing most of the stakeholders in the process. So for that, I salute you. The Northern Beaches salutes you too, for bringing your kind of magic north.
And magic it is. The kids were well and truly entertained, by roving talent.
There was a kids games pavillion with giant scrabble, a mini bowling alley, table tennis en masse and even a dais for the winners.
Although these adjectives hardly ring true this Easter in our family, as the Easter Bunny failed to show up for someone this year, due to bad behaviour. However I am sure that story will go down as 'legend' in our family folklore, so in that sense, the language is right on the money.
Some of the place is still under construction and the car park is still closed and filled with all the old crap from the previous incarnation of the Arms. Minor issues, which are sure to be rectified soon.
Next time I'm returning for pizza, it looked tops.
The view is still brilliant, although these quick snaps from my phone on an overcast day hardly do it justice.
Seafood served in deconstructed wheel barrows. Uber cool.
One of the many bars dotted throughout the garden.
The world's most tenacious photo bomber.
Lovers in all their various stages.
The live music venue, complete with newly decked dance floor. Oh the lovers that will meet here in the future.
The photo bomber, working it.
Some more beautiful people and some lovers going even further. If you are looking for love, The Newport is the place to find it.
Just like most love stories, The Newport is still under construction in parts, but for me, I'm already hooked.
So just a few snaps to give you an idea of what's new on the beaches. I'll be going back soon with my big girls camera and a few hours to hang out and soak it all in.
The verdict: Almost Brilliant.
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